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8th September 2003
Caption Compo Number 4
No prizes this time, but you'll get to see all of the best suggestions for what these three fine Real Classic enthusiasts are discussing:
Hooligween: Yes, sir; I may look an idiot. And you are bald as a coot. In the morning, however, I shall look an idiot no longer...
Dave: Like taking candy from a baby. We waited till no one was looking, then threatened to push him in the nettles unless he gave Specky his cone and me his bike.
John Whapshott: 'I'm a big Beach Boys fan - that's why I'm on a Little Honda!'
JW: If you've got to wear one of these stupid jackets you may as well have a bike to match
Byro: Apparently it used to belong to Evita Peron and Vincent only made 10 of them
Byro: Of course, the missus can't come on rides until the sidecar is fitted
Byro: It's a special for the Welsh market; ideal for 18-stone pygmies
Byro: It's built to comply with next years Euro regs.
The Bish: It ain't necessarily so...
John Whapshott: It can truly be said that onlookers were amazed by the new Norton Nemesis...
Dan: 'It's quite pleasurable, actually'
Dan: 'Funny you should say that, I do feel a bit of a twat...'
Dan: 'It's the prize for the next caption competition'
Frank W: Yes, guys, this really is the New Labour Bigger, Better, Faster and In All Ways Improved Honda GoldWing!
The Toaster: It'll bring a whole generation into racing earlier - Schoolboy class? Now we'll have nursery teams too!
John Whapshott: 'Are you THE Lemmy?'
Dave: Landmark Challenge anyone?
Dave: At least it doesn't require a Big Shed.
Dave: You think you've got problems? I've got to ride this all the way to the RealClassic Christmas party!
The Toaster (risking certain death at the hands of the flame-haired one): I'm just delivering it to Rowena. Frank said if she broke another bike he'd poke it where the sun don't shine, so she thought she'd better pick a small one....
Byro: So this bloke says to me "sorry mate I didn`t see you"
Byro: and I still cant gey my knee down.
Byro: I`ve finally found a bike that Emm can reach the floor on
Jonathan Swift: Can you tell me the way to Lilliput?
David Atkinson: It looks bigger when I polish it
G & D: I hope no-one photographs me - 'cos if they do it'll probably turn up in a caption competition!
Dave Lawless: Could be worse, it could be a Harley Davidson stuck up me a**e.
Paul: Fred's curiously shaped piles were always a wow at bike shows
Frank W: 'Just add water', they said...
Dave: And the best bit is it REALLY pisses off the VMCC.
John: This year's drastic reduction in sales meant that C*G couldn't quite match last year's Big Compo prize...
Dave: Actually there IS an owners club.....
John Whapshott: Course I paid five grand for it - its previous owner was Wee Jimmy Krankie!
Paul Friday: The guy on the bike and the one on the left are both saying "Ooh look, a flake".
Dave Lawless: Well John, the Preparation H certainly worked wonders on me Farmers but bloody hell look what it done to me bike!
The Bish: I only use it for little runs.
Graham Staples: Does my bum look big in this?
Tim Roberts: These portaloos are much more convenient than looking for the plastic cubicles.
FerG3: You haven't got one of those Swiss Army knives that extract minibikes from bikers' bums, I suppose?
Hooligween: So it's the inevitable consequence of the Atkin's diet, you say?
Dave: Honest mate, these are definitely going to be the next big thing........
AJS BSA: The bike is fine, it's wearing the dayglo jacket that's embarrassing
Geof Staples: When I volunteered as travelling marshal, they didn't tell me it was for mini-moto!
Geof Staples: I should never have left it out in rain without a cover...
Real Mart: The hallucinogenic effects of the magic-mushroom flavoured ice cream were almost immediate…
John Whapshott: Sir Clive says it'll be a world-beater!
John Whapshott: Of course it wasn't a straight swap for the Black Knight! Frank threw in the jacket as well...
AJSBSA: But the dealer assured me it was a Argentinean Vincent
ClassicGlory: It's made by Gnome, yer know...
JW: This fits about as well as that old leather jacket I used to wear as a teenager!
Aged P: What, the missus put it in a boil wash by mistake?
EVguru: Retail surveys show shrinking bike sales.
mlh: Yes, well, you know your average Japanese chap is a little shorter than good Anglo-Saxon stock.
Paul G80: Well they say it's not how big it is but how you use it!!!
John Young: So there's no way you reckon I could shoehorn a V8 Rover engine into this frame then?
ClassicGlory: You know I used to have one just like it when I was your age...
Wade Douglas: You say a leprechaun has been asking after me?
Marc Pinder: You really have to get your knees out on the corners...
G&D: Yes, I import them from Argentina, sell the numbers, and then knock 'em out to the nursery schools !
Beezerbum: Just the job for the London congestion tax - I takes it on the bus!!!!!!
The Toaster: Little Johnny just wouldn't accept he'd outgrown his bike.
Geof Staples: If you put it in a grow bag and water it regularly, it will have grown to full size in time for next summer...
The Toaster: The limbo competition was as well contested as ever
The Toaster: That's what you get for missing your HP payments..
The Toaster: T' wife said we had to make cut-backs..
The Toaster: The track marshals are also suffering funding cutbacks..
The Toaster: You mean this isn't a Foggy replica???
The Toaster: Parking congestion problems solved.
The Toaster: Told you to use non-bio
No Name: Are you telling me, CB350Paul, that you sold your entire Trumpet collection on eBay for a handful of beans and that there mini bike?
FerG3: The new government restrictions for road bikes in 2004 slashed traffic accidents numbers.
Ian Rankin: We warned you about the use of powerwashers.
Keep 'em clean, keep 'em clever and keep 'em coming. Real Mart will post the best entries here every day (or so) and then it's over to you to pick your favourites...
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