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5th March 2004


Picture Quiz Answers Revealed!

We gave you pictures of classic motorcycles to look at. You gave us answers about what they might be. Some of the answers were almost intelligible, too...

We didn't really want to harp on and on about what's in the first issue of RealClassic magazine (to which you can subscribe, in case you missed all the nagging last time) in traditional fashion, so those readers with keen memories will recollect that we set you a quiz, based around pictures, and left you to work it out for yourselves. Well, why should we do all the hard work, eh?

My lips are sealed. Mmmmmpff kffffmm mmmpff. [FX: Sticky tape being ripped from mouth] Arrrrghh... Beard... Moustache... Aaargh...

If you haven't already seen the quiz, then have a look at the pictures now, before you give the game away and look at the answers. Not that it'll make a great deal of difference to your life, because we'll only be giving prizes to the people who've already entered, but you might achieve a gentle glow of self-satisfied smugness if you get them all right.

Pic A: Triumph X-75 Hurricane

Pic AAn easy one to start with. The X-75 is in the first issue of RealClassic in a big way, when Steve Wilson returns to ride Down The Road with the first part of a two-part epic dedicated to one of motorcycling's most charismatic designers; Craig Vetter. Why is the Hurricane that amazing orange colour? We know the answer. And you could do too. Very soon.

Almost everyone got this bike right. So don't be too pleased with yourself. (And if you were the person who got it wrong... hey; don't take it to heart. We all make mistakes. Even TP). Our favourite answer for this pic was 'a small Checzosloviakian traffic warden', but that's the kind of derangement (and dodgy spelling) which we've come to expect from Graham Ham. Gerry Hedderwick also did well to point out that it's 'Craig Vetter's least favourite side of his 1973 X75 Triumph Hurricane. And congrats go to Matthew Vale, who knows all about the BSA-badged prototype.

*******

Pic B: Royal Enfield Bullet

Pic BAnother easy-peasy one. To kick off a new series of RealWheels features (snappy title, huh?) we have a vast compilation of owners' views of all sorts of Royal Enfield Bullets. Old ones, older ones, even older ones, and most of them still running. This feature contains enough hints and tips to keep even Emm and Toast's Enfields on the road... no, on second thought, rewind and erase that last sentiment.

All credit goes to Will Curry who correctly identified that 'this is not one of the later models -- there is no emission pipework on the exhaust system.' Quite a few others also correctly noted that the pictured bike was from the Enfield era, before the Royal name-tag was reattached after emergency surgery in Gloucestershire. Bafflingly, nearly as many people thought that this was an electric start version, as thought it was definitely NOT an electric start version. Moving on...

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Pic C: Matchless Golden Eagle

Pic COK, we admit it. This was harder than a very hard thing on Viagra to get right. There are not too many Matchless G50s around, and we didn't even show you a photo. But that's cos we're sneaky. And we aren't entirely responsible for the choice - we asked Chris Read who is the editor of the Jampot to pick his dream bike of the marque (AJS or Matchless), and this was what he came up with.

Lots of people spotted that it's a 'blue Matchless.' Well done, yes. Time for your nap yet? Geof Staples, Tiger90 and MickW all score highly for getting it right. Will Curry fills in the detail: 'A motorcycle to sell Granny for. 50 were made as a qualification for G50s in US racing and presumably all finished up there. The idea of the G50 engine in road trim reappeared as the Seeley Condor and again as the Tonkin Typhoon.'

******

Pic D: Norton Model 77

Pic DAha! Gotcha! Hands up who thought it was a Model 7? Well, you did better than some. Not all Nortons are Commandos, and not all Norton Dominators boasted featherbed frames. In the feature, Frank Westworth rekindles his appreciation of one of Norton's unsung workhorses.

Sadly for Tony Barnett the bike was neither a 99 nor 'a choc ice.' Nice try.

Nor was it 'a pathetic attempt to portray Daisy. But fails, 'cos it's not Daisy.' Graham, it wasn't even a Triumph. Look, not *everything* is about your bike, OK?

We enjoyed the idea that it was a 'palindrome of Bolton' (was that you, NVNL?). But it was Beesa who hit it on the nose with his; 'pre-Featherbed Norton Dominator 77.' And he's a bloke who obviously likes BSAs!

******

Pic E: Hesketh V1000

Pic EBig, British and bold. Rowena Hoseason tells the (very long) story behind one of the UK's most heroic failures. It's a tale of misadventure, misplaced optimism and a mighty motorcycle. It's also got the biggest typo in the whole magazine in it, and yes we did notice, but only after the pages had gone to the printer, despite staring at them for weeks. At least RealMart can fix things like that on the Net. Sigh.

Still, it gave you lot plenty to chortle over. Was it Fred who suggested it was the 'emblem from the rare Royal Cockerel' motorcycle? Geof Staples entertainingly suggested the 'Royal Henfield', while D R Tibbett remarked this was ' the only bike to sound like a milkfloat full of empty bottles.' How cwuel.

Russ Gannicott scores null point for 'Oh Bum! Can't remember!', while Will Curry adds; ' I've seen one with a sidecar but I didn't feel like asking the charioteer how it went, as the nice man from the RAC was busily hauling it onto a recover vehicle at the time.'

Bob Forster reckoned it was a 'Coventy Eagle' and we think he's sort-of correct, but PaulG80 perhaps came closest with his ' big cock'. If you see what I mean.

*****

Pic F: Honda CBX1000

Pic FThere's a rumour that not all classics were built in Blighty, and that some classics were built after 1953. Steve The Toaster attempts to shed light on that most classic of Japanese motorcycles, Honda's awesome 6-potter. And then he entered the competition, too. Which is cheating. Surely?

Graham was nearer the mark this time; 'a Speed Twin, after waaaay too many beers, and possibly a bit of a sing as well', and absolutely everybody else got it boringly right. Even the man who said it had too many cylinders and 'wasn't British.' Japanese bikes don't inspire comedy answers, apparently.

*****

Pic G: Triumph Thunderbird

Pic GIt's bright! It's blue! It's brilliant! Jonathan Hoare waxes rhapsodic about a 1950 Triumph 6T Thunderbird. Now this was trickier than it might have seemed, because, well, you know... seen one Triumph twin, seen 'em all... how can you tell them apart? And who cares?

OK, we'll stop that before the lynch mob arrives. But lots of folk misidentified it as a Speed Twin, or a T110, or a T21, or a 5TA. Oddly, no one came up with anything really funny about a Triumph twin. Which could be telling...

*****

Pic H: Some other bike

Pic HLook, there wasn't meant to be a Pic H, so if you didn't get it then don't worry. There isn't a story about it in the magazine. It was just that RealMart didn't like having an odd number of pictures in the quiz and so evened it up with one he had scudding about. Sorry. He tells us it's a Ducati 250 Mark 3, and he should know because he took the picture. If you feel short-changed because you wanted to read about it then (1) demand your money back - from Mart, obviously, or (2) pester him to write a story about it. It's only fair.

Actually, we probably should run a story about a 250 Ducati because hardly anyone knew what it was. G Nutley, Emm, Paul Friday and Kevin Chapman were among the few who got it right, but Marc Pinder thought it was a 500; NVNL suggested it was the 'Earl of Beveldrive (pronounced beaver)' and Tony Barnett admitted defeat with; 'Ducati er bevel er desmo thingy.'

Steve The Toast's; 'rev it and watch for low-flying valves if not set up right' displays a satisfying familiarity with the breed.

******

The Winner

And the winner is... drumroll... well there's three of you, actually, so considerable kudos goes to Tiger90, Will Curry and Geof Staples. If you'd like to send the delectable TP@RealClassic.co.uk your postal address then she'll send the boys round - that is, she'll despatch your weedy little prizes forthwith. Well done!

The judges decision is final, and if we've made a ghastly mistake and excluded you then we're very sorry. But it was only meant to be a bit of fun (and by the way, have you subscribed to the magazine yet?)

*******

And Finally

We probably shouldn't encourage him, but John Whapshott deserves recognition for this effort...

Pic A: triumph of the silencer-maker's art

  • Pic B: triumph of making a bland bike
  • Pic C: triumph of the artist's ability to draw a bike
  • Pic D: triumph of leaky tin over oiltightish alloy
  • Pic E: triumph of a stroppy cock
  • Pic F: triumph of the insane over everything else
  • Pic G: triumph of BSA thinking they could get away with it
  • Pic H: triumph of poor design

    My lips are sealed. Mmmmmpff kffffmm mmmpff. [FX: Sticky tape being ripped from mouth] Arrrrghh... Beard... Moustache... Aaargh...


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