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2nd February 2004


RealClassic - The Magazine

It must be at least 20 minutes since we mentioned that the paper version of RealClassic.co.uk will start publication this spring, which means you're probably due to a reminder. What's going to be in it, you may ask...?

If we were like any normal publisher then at this point we would list the contents of the forthcoming first issue of RealClassic, sit back and bask in your stunned admiration and immediately cash the cheques when you are inspired to subscribe on the strength of it.

But we're not like that. No. Nothing is easy in RealClassicLand. We make you work for your fulfilment (because if it's too easy then it's less satisfying, or something) before you get to the subscribing stage. And yes, we are going to mention subscribing at every single opportunity because some mad devil pointed out that we weren't promoting the paper magazine enough and you really shouldn't encourage us, you know.

So. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we shall begin. (Erm... subscribe, OK?).

Here are several pictures of - gasp! - classic motorcycles which will be featured - amazing! - in the first issue of RealClassic (well, we say in the first issue but it's not all designed yet so we could be pre-empting the pudding but it just makes all the more exciting, dunnit?), to which you can subscribe, you know. Cunningly, we have not said which these classic motorcycles actually are (careful with those captions, RealMart!).

My lips are sealed. Mmmmmpff kffffmm mmmpff.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it before subscribing, is to successfully identify which bike is represented by each picture. It is not sufficient to simply say 'a Triumph' by the way. That will not do. You will make the fabulously delicious Typing Person come over all stern and grumpy, and she's been prone to bad moods since the chocolate mountain melted. Be as precise as you possibly can, because precision wins prizes - perhaps.

[FX: Sticky tape being ripped from mouth] Arrrrghh... Beard... Moustache... Aaargh...

Once you have figured out which is what, you can fill in this form (which doesn't exist yet but I have every confidence that RealMart will magic one out of interether and bits of mangled Morini). [Did you want all these bits in italics left in? RealMart]


I think Pic A is of a
I think Pic B is of a
I think Pic C is of a
I think Pic D is of a
I think Pic E is of a
I think Pic F is of a
I think Pic G is of a
I think Pic H is of a
My name is
And my email address is

Competion Closed - Sorry.

This form will magically transport itself to TP when you hit button, and she will laugh at your feeble attempts to identify perfectly plain-as-the-nose-on-your-face motorcycles, before declaring A Winner once everyone has had a go, and announcing what the bikes actually were. Are. Will be. Whatever.

But by then you'll probably know what they are because your first subscription copy of RealClassic will have arrived on your doormat and all will be well with the world.

Oh yes. We might give A Winner A Prize, if anyone actually get 'em all right and if lots of subscriptions have arrived and we're feeling happy.

Did we mention that there's a magazine on the way and that you can subscribe to it?


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