The most likely theory is that after a recent top end overhaul, many of the original long lasting reliable components were replaced by new high performance units. Unfortunately, this new top end simply wasn’t designed for long life stability and it would appear that after the rebuild, liquidity flow became a one way upward process with little or nothing returning downwards again, leaving the crucial bottom end to run completely dry. At the top end, all liquidity appears to have been siphoned away elsewhere, but to where, we just don’t know as yet.

Some of the more hot-headed members of our syndicate have mooted that in order to find out where it all went, we might well be better off smashing the whole top end setup to pieces with hammers and crowbars. Given that at present the entire assembly appears to be particularly stubborn and unwilling to move, I think they could well have a point. Although once we finally have it all stripped down, whether the skills are still around which can be utilised to rebuild it into a functioning model again, only time will tell.

Next we come to the structural integrity of the machine. On first appearances it looks like it has been ridden flat out into a brick wall and although unwilling to admit as much, I could see that Mr Darling thought the previous incumbent may well have been responsible for the damage. When I inquired how this had happened, I was informed that the brakes had been completely taken off, apparently in the interests of performance. Unfortunately, now it appears that the wheels look just about ready to fall off instead.

When the previous owner sold it to Mr Darling, he assured him that all was structurally sound and that the whole caboodle was in a very strong position, suggesting that all it really needed was a lick of paint and a tweak here and there. However I get the impression that this is going to be a very expensive restoration indeed and I can’t really see our syndicate ever breaking even, despite taking a medium to long term view. If it wasn’t such an important piece within the jigsaw that makes up our national identity, personally I’d be sorely tempted to scrap it.