Together with a friend (who shall remain nameless for the moment, like The Stig on Top Gear), we plan to ride the Short Way Up in 2009 from Cape Town to Zambia and back, on a brace of Ariel Red Hunters.

Among the many other decisions to be made, there was the question of what to wear, my dears. We’re going for May/June/July, Southern Africa’s winter and mainly temperate, but at the end of May last year it had snowed at a bike rally in South Africa itself, and the guidebooks talk about occasional winter rain, and chilly evenings.

So I was after clothes not too hot for riding through the days, but warm and waterproof if necessary, and with protection for the inevitable tumbles we’re likely to take, especially off-tarmac. It was also important to feel comfortable, both physically and socially; people don’t always react well to black leather, and if possible and practical the clothes should match the casual, ‘slow-food’ approach of this long, leisurely trip on old bikes. My friend further advised that anything which smacked of military uniform was a definite no-no in some areas. And old bush hands say that the colour dark blue apparently attracts tsetse flies and their very unpleasant bites.

After Shoshoni jeans had gone belly up at the beginning of the decade, I’d enjoyed a pair of Hood’s first product, blue jeans with Airtex lining and featuring pockets with Knox CE-approved hip and knee armour. They’d been a bit bulky, but better was soon to follow in the shape of the Hood K7, which were cut to look just like a pair of ordinary jeans, but lined extensively with woven Kevlar material named Aramid.

This stuff is extremely abrasion-resistant. They’d dragged a stuffed pair for half a mile at 50 mph, and while the denim ended up torn and scorched, the yellow woven Aramid lining stayed totally intact. I’ve had my black denim K7s for several years now, and while I’ve done no crash testing, they’ve worn and kept their colour extremely well. In fact I’d taken them on this summer’s Guzzi trip to the warmth of Provence, as the lining doesn’t carry much of a heat penalty.

This sounds like a commercial, but I’ve been genuinely impressed by Hood’s products and by the way they’ve changed and improved over the years, to take account of customer feedback.

‘We tried making a Cordura jean for the road,’ said Chris at Hood. ‘After a month we were getting a good reaction, but people said they wanted denim over the protection.

‘So we launched Hood, with 14 ½ oz denim jeans incorporating pockets for knee and hip armour. But not long after we went to the K7, our flagship jean, lined with Aramid, woven Kevlar. The woven lining covers knees, hips, thighs, shins and seat. Kevlar was more expensive so the prices went up, but people wanted the best. Right away we stopped selling the previous kind – we still have a stack of them under the bench – but we only do stuff that we believe in.

It’s the little things. Something I’d noticed was the generous dimensions of the right side coin pocket, so you can put your keys in for quick access without fear of them falling out. Above all, it’s the right, unobtrusive, look, with no sacrifice of practicality. ‘With sizes, we go up to a 44 inch waist as standard, but we can make up to a 52 inch to special order, and we’ve done very short-legged garments for some pillion passengers.

‘And because we’re not riders, we listen to everybody, and then do what we do best. We’ve had great assistance from local Police instructors, who have helped us define the product. There’s one guy, Geoff, with so much knowledge, he could give us figures on the heat generated per second in accidents, but he also knows what he likes and dislikes, and tells us.’

It was time to check out the green trews I was interested in. I was delighted to find that in fact they were cut just like the jeans, with the same pockets for armour, which Velcro-ed in for precise placement. The fabric was a notably lightweight poly-cotton from the company, P and R, who also supply the MoD. Any Army associations, though, will be severely modified by the badges I intend to deploy on the trousers! The stuff was tough and quick-drying, and we decided on woven K7-type lining, as though the knitted fabric is light and breathes well, it has a woolly sensation against the skin so that it feels hotter.

I also chose an XL-sized K7 armoured denim jacket, in blue denim and damn the tsetse flies; it was also available in black, but for me a black denim jacket feels, obscurely, just a bit too gloomy. The jacket is compact enough to wear an unlined Belstaff-type one over the top of it, for cold and wet conditions. Chris and Julie are even going to fit extra pockets inside; bespoke tailoring, no less! So that was me sorted.

-------------------

Hood Jeans, Orchard Farm, Cherry Tree Road, Tibenham, Norfolk, NR16 1PQ. Tel: 01953 861166

Anyone got their own bike clobber recommendations?